is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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