The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
