Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
