i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
