I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
