dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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