I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
