Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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