So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My dick has a subreddit
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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