No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
