i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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