She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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