eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
