Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
