Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We had to coat check the pizza.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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