My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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