That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
