Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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