Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
