After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
