Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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