Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
