"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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