Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
