If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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