She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
