Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
