ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
