Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
