I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize