and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
