wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
