So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
