I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize