i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize