Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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