found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
