My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
