I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
