3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
