I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I fill condoms, not promises.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
