The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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