I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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