cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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