She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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