i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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