Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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