you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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