I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
