wrigley field is MILF paradise
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
