I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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