Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
