to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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