She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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