So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
