4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
