Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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