Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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